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23

Sep

My Man Crush Monday & my Tittie Tuesday (just look at @mikeysplenda ‘s strong man jugs!!) the only boy I taught to pole dance & the only boy I know who can kick higher than any Rockette…my future power husband, the Archer to my Lana…#mcm #tittietuesday #manly #tits #man #sweet #friends #awesome #archer #lana #fitness #powercouple #stayfit #fitlife #actors #musicians #ups #musical #eustis #florida

My Man Crush Monday & my Tittie Tuesday (just look at @mikeysplenda ‘s strong man jugs!!) the only boy I taught to pole dance & the only boy I know who can kick higher than any Rockette…my future power husband, the Archer to my Lana…#mcm #tittietuesday #manly #tits #man #sweet #friends #awesome #archer #lana #fitness #powercouple #stayfit #fitlife #actors #musicians #ups #musical #eustis #florida

Tinder, the most romantic way to message someone over the internet!

Move over sweet nothings & romantic, verbose letters…Tinder makes it possible for you to get to the point & sound like a total douche at the same time!

You sir, are the reason the word “douche bag” exists…thank you for the friendly reminder!

16

Sep

NSFW!! So a random man in Romania sent me a photo of his penis with this message: 

please my wife could you please sex with me?!!!

My wife I love you has sex on me please!

Please just love me!!!

My response:

Only a rude pervert would send a woman he doesn’t even know this photo. Your dick pic is now going on my blog. Have a great day. *delete & block*

So I have decided that with the influx of penis photos I have been receiving due to my fan page numbers going up that if you send me a photo of your penis on Facebook, Tinder, text or any other means of communication without me asking for it you are now becoming a subject of my weekly dick pic.

This dick comes from Romania where dicks have long hair, wear glasses, smoke out of pipes and eat sushi. Why sushi? Because I thought it looked funny.  

This penis isn’t very interesting otherwise so I had to dress it up. I’m not sure if it’s at half mast or fully charged but it seems to be lacking in strength and has an interesting curvature to it. He man scapes which is important but over man scaping makes you look like a little boy and that’s just too much so scale back on trimming the hedges is my best advice to Romania.

Think twice before you send me a photo or lewd message boys.

NSFW!! So a random man in Romania sent me a photo of his penis with this message:

please my wife could you please sex with me?!!!

My wife I love you has sex on me please!

Please just love me!!!

My response:

Only a rude pervert would send a woman he doesn’t even know this photo. Your dick pic is now going on my blog. Have a great day. *delete & block*

So I have decided that with the influx of penis photos I have been receiving due to my fan page numbers going up that if you send me a photo of your penis on Facebook, Tinder, text or any other means of communication without me asking for it you are now becoming a subject of my weekly dick pic.

This dick comes from Romania where dicks have long hair, wear glasses, smoke out of pipes and eat sushi. Why sushi? Because I thought it looked funny.

This penis isn’t very interesting otherwise so I had to dress it up. I’m not sure if it’s at half mast or fully charged but it seems to be lacking in strength and has an interesting curvature to it. He man scapes which is important but over man scaping makes you look like a little boy and that’s just too much so scale back on trimming the hedges is my best advice to Romania.

Think twice before you send me a photo or lewd message boys.

15

Sep

Out with my lady for a Fabulous Lady Day #bff #bestie #theleague #fabulous #lady #sexy #crazy #centralamericangirls #puertoricangirls #youloveit #booty #boobs #dresses #heels #legs #lips #margarita #sweet  (at don julio’s cantina)

Out with my lady for a Fabulous Lady Day #bff #bestie #theleague #fabulous #lady #sexy #crazy #centralamericangirls #puertoricangirls #youloveit #booty #boobs #dresses #heels #legs #lips #margarita #sweet (at don julio’s cantina)

13

Sep

#sexysaturday #legs #pinup #model #pinupmodel #rockabilly #risarisque #burlesque #babes #boobs #cowgirl #vintagecars #orlando #native #sexy #silly #singer #sweet #girlswithcurves #girlswholift #girlswithtattoos

#sexysaturday #legs #pinup #model #pinupmodel #rockabilly #risarisque #burlesque #babes #boobs #cowgirl #vintagecars #orlando #native #sexy #silly #singer #sweet #girlswithcurves #girlswholift #girlswithtattoos

09

Sep

A little #bts from last night the private corporate event I was honored to both coordinate and bartend. You want an entertainment bartender? Body paint artist and models? Burlesque and belly dancers? Look no further my team has it all and more ;) #bookings #bartenderlife #babes #bodypaint #models #sexy #sexybitch #girlswithcurves #girlswithtattoos #girlswithtattoosdoitbetter #girlswholift #burlyq #burlesque #artshow #conventions #tradeshow

A little #bts from last night the private corporate event I was honored to both coordinate and bartend. You want an entertainment bartender? Body paint artist and models? Burlesque and belly dancers? Look no further my team has it all and more ;) #bookings #bartenderlife #babes #bodypaint #models #sexy #sexybitch #girlswithcurves #girlswithtattoos #girlswithtattoosdoitbetter #girlswholift #burlyq #burlesque #artshow #conventions #tradeshow

06

Sep

For the last 5 months between 2 jobs & performing I haven’t had any days off until today, totally unplanned & random weekend off. Started my day running 5 miles so I’m gonna treat myself to my favorite food, can’t have a cheat day until you workout 💘 #mexican #corona #coronita #dayoff #performerlife #bartenderlife #singer #vacation #friends #fun #margarita #fishtacos #girlswholift #runner #girlswithcurves #orlando #ucf

For the last 5 months between 2 jobs & performing I haven’t had any days off until today, totally unplanned & random weekend off. Started my day running 5 miles so I’m gonna treat myself to my favorite food, can’t have a cheat day until you workout 💘 #mexican #corona #coronita #dayoff #performerlife #bartenderlife #singer #vacation #friends #fun #margarita #fishtacos #girlswholift #runner #girlswithcurves #orlando #ucf

05

Sep

Tinder takes Catfish to a new level!

Every day I go through photos and it never fails, guy holding fish…although I give it to Tyler that’s a nice fish. Now I like to fish as much as the next girl…no really, but this is like fish overload and unless that fish is wearing a tuxedo, singing on Broadway I’m honestly not real impressed. I know it shows your “interests” but it’s safe to say by now I can assume every dude on Tinder likes to fish.

01

Sep

#happylaborday #happy #lake #fun #texas #dallas #dfw #cowgirl #fun #girlswithtattoos #girlswithcurves #girlswithtattoosdoitbetter #futuretrophywife #jk #boyfriend #boobs #millerlite

#happylaborday #happy #lake #fun #texas #dallas #dfw #cowgirl #fun #girlswithtattoos #girlswithcurves #girlswithtattoosdoitbetter #futuretrophywife #jk #boyfriend #boobs #millerlite

Working at Click’s today so if you’re around & not at the beach, help a bitch out & come have a drink and bring me your BBQ left overs or at least a pumpkin latte ;) have fun, be safe, take an Uber, don’t drive drunk & remember…MERICA! The only country who celebrates taking a day off to get drunk!

Working at Click’s today so if you’re around & not at the beach, help a bitch out & come have a drink and bring me your BBQ left overs or at least a pumpkin latte ;) have fun, be safe, take an Uber, don’t drive drunk & remember…MERICA! The only country who celebrates taking a day off to get drunk!